Asian Stereotypes 101: We’re Yellow, What of It?

Just a couple of Asian stereotypes that irritate me, and some that make me laugh. And I’m Asian myself, so I’m not trying to be racist (much). This may offend some of you… if so, I’m sorry. Well, not really.

HAHA, I’m just kidding. I don’t mean to offend anyone. :)

  • “Asians have small eyes”. Baby, my eyes may be small but I have a huge… personality. ;)
  • “Asians are FOBs, & can’t speak English”. Admittedly a lot of Asians are FOBs (fresh off the boat), but they’re the older generation, the ones that came here from a war torn country by boat, seeking refuge. Please don’t assume that just because I’m Asian I don’t speak English, and that to converse with me you need to both sound like you’re speaking with a child and playing charades at the same time. Bitch please, I grew up in this country.
  • “Asians are bad drivers”. Now, I used to think this was a bunch of phoney baloney. But then I got my license. And that shit is true. Naw, I’m just kidding. But have you not seen Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift? Asians aren’t bad drivers… we’re crazy drivers.
  • “Asians always eat rice with everything”. Yes, and? I actually don’t like rice that much… maybe it’s because I grew up eating that stuff.
  • “All Asians know karate, or some form of martial arts”. We don’t actually, it’s all a bluff. Because no reasonable (ie. sane) person wants to get into a fight with a grown man or woman who thinks they’re a tiger. Crazy beats skills – Every. Single. Time.
  • “You’re Asian, you must be Chinese”. This always irritates the bloody hell out of me (although I’m part Chinese…but still). Not all Asians are Chinese!
  • “Asian families are always massive”. Yeah, it’s awesome. The amount of family love and support you get from a big family is crazy awesome. This sorta brings me back to the whole ‘Asians know karate’ – that means that if you mess with one Asian, you mess with at least his immediate family (if not the whole clan), which is about 32 people. Trust me, you don’t want that many people going all ‘crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon’ on you.
  • “Asian kids are all nerds who become doctors”. Well if your parents had to cross the bloody ocean and beyond just for a slight hope of a better life for future children, they’d want you to study hard too. Why is this even a stereotype?
  • “Asians aren’t racist”. Boy, are you tripping out of your mind? Asians are racist as fuck. It’s just that we smile at you before we insult you in our own language so that you don’t know.

Nah, we’re a peaceful bunch. If you see an Asian, walk up to us and make conversation. We like making new friends.


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