Forever a Foreign Concept

Everyone has a solution to being cheated on in a relationship, and it’s always simple as hell. I mean – he cheats, you leave, you never look back. It’s that simple, isn’t it?

Uh, wrong?! It’s bloody complicated as fuck!

My friends tell me that he’s scum, that he doesn’t deserve to have me, and that I should rip him a new one. But they don’t know him like I do. They don’t understand that despite shattering the fuck out of my heart, I can’t forget the last 18 months. They don’t understand that I can’t magically drop everything I’ve ever felt for him, still feel for him.

It hurts, wading through the mutilated remains of myself, trying to figure out what the hell I’m feeling. And it hurts to think that after 18 months, he threw it all away for one night with some girl. I knew there was a reason why I didn’t like his ex. The bitch.

He tried to apologise for it of course. ‘Oh, I slipped and we just ended up doin’ it.’ Yeah, when pigs fly.

Way to break my heart. I just hope it was worth it.

7 thoughts on “Forever a Foreign Concept

  1. I’m never one for telling people what to do, but I will say this.. If he cheated once, it will happen again ..maybe not always sex, but other ways..
    there is no easy fix, you have to literally put your head up, always act like a lady with class and move on..

    I’m really sorry you are going through this.. truly..

  2. Cheating isn’t really about sex; it’s about power. It’s about the power to break your heart. If you let him, he will become powerful in all sorts of ways. And you will lose your power (and your self respect).

    There is a reason we learn not to play with cheaters on the playground.

    Good luck mending. Let your flesh-and-blood friends help you — and then help them when they need it.

    • Thank you, Elyse. My friends are absolute stars with everything they’ve done for me, by being here for me, and I love them for it. Especially my friend Deryk, who stayed on the phone with me from 2am to 6am, even though he had to get up for work at 8. He’s a legend.

  3. I am sorry that you should have to have gone through this. Your friends are in fact correct. Pick yourself up, dust off and move on.
    The truth is out, once a cheater always a cheater. You also have to deal with the fact that the relationship will never be the same, the element of trust is gone. No matter how much you convince yourself all is good, it is not. This is something that will remain in the back of your mind. The times he is late coming to get you or when he has to cancel on an outing or he just isn’t plain home when you call him to chat and he said he was going to be.
    The first thing to come to mind will be?
    I know you have heard this all before and will hear it many more times in your life.
    Do your self a big favour and don’t even look back. Yes it is going to hurt, yes it is going to take a long time to get over. Don’t let this ruin your life. There are many others out there that are much more deserving of your affections, that would never dream of doing something like that.
    I know what it is like. The past two relationships I have had, one 5 years and the other 6 years in duration and both ended with the cheater. I ask that you don’t turn cold like I have. I have been on my own for nearly three years now and have no intention of getting back in the game. I have not dated once. You see I let it get to me and I have no trust in anyone anymore. Why would I put my all into something just to become the loose in the end. Besides I am old now so it really makes no difference.
    From reading your blogs, I think you are a pretty great individual, funny and full of life and ever so young with so much ahead of you.
    Do it right, listen to your friends as they in fact see much more than you do. They were not in love with that person. Love makes you blind. Being your friends, they are just looking out for your best interests.
    Look at this being the beginning of a new path on a new journey.
    Take care.

    • Hi Mr. William. I think feeling that bond between us, the trust I had placed in him disintegrate was just about the worst thing. Suddenly, it felt like all the rules had changed. Who was this man, what happened to the one I knew? Did I even know the real him? I felt lost…

      My high school sweetheart.. He has definitely made my final year of high school memorable. I sometimes wish that I had never found out, so I could remain ignorant of such pain… betrayal. It’s going to be a long, hard journey to move on. I know I should. And I will.

      But before I close the door on that part of my life, can I wallow in the could-have-been’s just for a little bit more?

      • Dreams are nice, however in some cases really serve no purpose. In this particular case all you are requesting is to put off the inevitable. It really serves no other purpose than to punish yourself longer by not accepting the facts for what they are and moving on. This is much like a death and there is and should be a grieving period. But dwelling on it and dreaming of the what if’s and what could have been’s only serves to prolong the pain. Besides I am sure that you look much better without the puffy eyes.
        No matter what, it is going to take time to heal the wounds left behind. Use them to learn and grow.
        You’ll be fine.

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